Cabbage Diet update:
Here is the update..did the cabbage diet and roca labs beginning last tuesday. never followed it faithfully any day. Was completely off of it on Sunday and yesterday (Monday) and I lost 5pounds. so..you know what..i am good with that. I am going to continue it this week. i like it..it is pretty easy and takes the guess work out of planning what to eat. call me crazy..but i like knowing that today i am going to have all the fruit i want. and the soup..then tomorrow i get to have all the veggies i want..and so on. and if i want a little something that is not on that day..i have it. so. i am going to do this again..tuesday thru saturday of this week. i like having sunday's off of the formula and cabbage diet. then monday i started the formula again..but not the cabbage diet. now..tuesday..back to work and my weekly routine..i start cabbage diet and the roca labs again. and it warm weather approaching..i love to make fruit smoothies in the spring and summer. i made my morning formula into a fruit smoothie and will have another one later tonight after my soup. so..i am feeling pretty okay. what makes me feel better..is i did not have to totally deprive myself of stuff in order to lose. we will see how this week goes. Oh, I wore my size 10 dress on mother's day..and i must say that i looked and felt cute!

Cabbage soup diet plan & the formula:
So, started the cabbage soup plan. the first day i did not take the formula with it and was hungry and discouraged cuz i was at get ready...161!!! that's more than when i initially started the formula. i was really low about this and found it extremely hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I felt like a big failure and blob and just really found it hard to get motivated. i followed the plan all day and then ate like crazy that night. so..day one did not count. the next day i had renewed hope and talked to myself and told myself to stop the pity party and get back on the wagon and give it all you've got. so..i did. this is my 5th day and i have lost 5 pounds. that makes me at 156. i'll take it. tomorrow is mother's day and my family wants to take me to dinner. and i haven't been exactly faithful to the plan today. but you know what..i am okay with it. if i go off or don't follow it perfectly these two days that is okay. i will just start all over with day #1 on monday. i know you are only supposed to do it for 7 days but i will extend it and do it until i feel like i need to switch it up. roca labs formula helps me to feel less hungry on the cabbage plan. so i will ride it out until i feel a switch is needed.

Updates:

1. Have not been on the scale in days--primarily cuz i just can't face the music. this past week has been absolutely crazy for me.working day and night (no exaggeration). work all day. break for about an hour and a half then back at church for evening services. monday-friday. not a good eating week. did formula most days..but didn't several as well. could not stay motivated...besides fitting into that suit!
2. Mother nature is here...another reason why i avoided the scale. i bloated up nicely this month. ankles and toes swollen bad. tried that hot lemon and water concoction i heard about on facebook..but don't know if it was really helpful.
3. trying the cabbage soup diet beginning tomorrow. the soup is simmering now..i need to change things up. i need a jolt..in the positive direction. so..i will do it this week and pray for success. don't care if it is water weight that i lose. i need positive movement in the downward direction. if this will give it to me with out me having to resort to being anorexic or bulimic as i did in years past..i will try it. if it works..my plan is to try cabbage diet one week..next week roca labs..and alternate the two for a month. we shall see. i am open..i just know that my last little bit on roca labs has not been tremendously successful. so i need to try something new.
4. i sold one bag of my formula and am considering selling another bag. since i am not really losing with the formula..i figure i need to make some of my money back. not sure yet if i will actually sell that second bag cuz i am jump starting things with the cabbage diet and may indeed need the other bag..
5. despite being off of the diet or not doing it religiously...alot of my cravings are still gone.and that is shocking to me. and i still can't overeat like i used to befor the formula. i like it!
6. this week i will add exercise back into my life. i miss it and honestly..i feel like a slob without it.
7. positive speak was at an all time low last week. everytime i looked in the mirror or looked at my rump i was like...REALLY? very disappointed in what i saw and how i felt about me. i considered doing some bad things..like taking diet pills and even worse..diuretics and laxatives..some of my old tricks. but God was with me and i did not. i feel like i will always have that eating disorder monkey on my back..always tempting me to resort to old tricks when something about my life displeases me.

Today's success:
Yesterday I had a whopper with cheese and an order of fries! Crazy, right? i had been craving it for over 2 weeks now and I said just have it. it was great..glad it is out of my system and i can move on. i do feel very bloated and blah today though. i am beginning to feel like a major slacker for not exercising in so long. i need to do it and be consistant with it. so..after this crazy week of work..beginning sunday..may 1st i will go back to exercising at least 3 days a week..and i am going to stick with it. i feel better about myself and my body when i do that. now..i look in the mirror and have some 'not so healthy' self talk. when i exercise i feel more toned and fit..even if the scale does not agree! in preparation for church tonight..i tried on a polka dot black and white suit that i bought years ago. i tried it on several months ago and it was a "NO". today..it is a "YES"! I am pleased. so the first time in a long while..i will fit in that suit. that is my success victory for today!!

Still on the plan:
I am pleased with how yesterday went for me. I almost did NOT meet my goal for yesterday: eat lunch. with the formula..i just am not hungry and i have to make an effort to eat lunch. i had to work late last night. was 10:35 by the time i got home. i felt bad eating dinner that late...but i really feel i took myself into starvation mode before by not eating. so..i want to make sure that does not happen again this week and in week's to come. i have a crazy busy schedule at work this week so i know i won't get a chance to exercise. i will do the best i can with eating and hope to incorporate exercise next week.
Starting Anew:
Last week I was very frustrated. i had stalled in my weight loss. had not lost one single pound in 3 weeks. pretty discouraging..despite exercising and keeping my calories low...nothing. so..i binged. yep..i did. next day i was 3 pounds heavier on the scale and my sanity was gone. i decided i needed to go off the formula because i needed a breather between it and me. i was also going out of town for the holidays and was unsure if i wanted to take it along. didn't want people questioning me.

was away tues-saturday/sunday am (like 3am). i did take the formula everyday but one. it was helpful to me because instead of pigging out and eating massive amounts of food...i was able to have what everyone else was having..but just less. didn't have to feel like a weirdo on a diet while everyone else is enjoying good foods. and surprisingly..i did not want to pig out. sometimes i took the formula mid or late day and was not even hungry. and the day that i didn't take it..it was because i forgot. when i got on the scale on sunday..i was back where i was before my binge. can you believe that?

i am back on the plan today..i learned a few things..1..i can go without getting on the scales daily. and i did not get on it this morning. i thought about it and was then like...nah don't need to know. 2..it's not that serious!! i can not be consumed by this weight loss effort. and i can not let it define me. i will do the best i can. outside of that..i can do no more. i don't know why weight doesn't just melt off of me. but..it is interesting to me that i was away and ate good foods and lost back down and maintained the weight i was when i stalled for 3 weeks! and during those three weeks i did not eat much at all. crazy.

one other thing that happened on the trip that was good...i bought a size 10 dress!

Daily goal: don't skip lunch